Laughter And Your T-Shirts
They say that laughter is the best medicine. They say that laughter can help relieve stress.
They say that laughter will solve all of your problems — both financial and emotional.
Alright. Well they don’t say that. But I say that.
And I think my friend Jerry may have said that before.
So technically. You could say “they” say that. And you wouldn’t really be wrong.
"Laughter will solve all of your problems — both financial and emotional". — Jerry, probably
So follow me down this rabbit hole of poorly made arguments and let me show you the best medicine you can wear on a budget.
Starting with — you guessed it:
Novelty Tees. Your aunt’s favorite panic-Christmas gifts.
Let’s get this shit over with.
4 Shirts To Cure You Unbearable Frown, You Sad Sad Child-Adult
1.) This Tough Boy Shirt for Tough Boys
Look, everyone wants to be seen as a tough person.
Everyone wants to be looked at as a pillar of strength who can handle their own shit.
This shirt does not say that.
But if you like to be made fun of a considerable amount then this shirt is for you.
It says hardcore because of a very distinct reason.
In the same way certain animals camouflage themselves in bright colors to make them seen poisonous – this shirt provides the illusion of being hardcore.
Which is not true, of course. You are instead a very soft core hidden inside a soft soft casing.
Like a soft shell taco filled only with sour cream and Smucker’s Uncrustables.
Or a Nestle Wonder Ball made with Jell-O whose favorite band is Seals and Crofts.
2.) Golf Shirt For Dudes Who Wear Sunglasses Indoors
Mmmm nothing says “I don’t know what women like” like a shirt that combines two things women don’t like:
Golf and creepy innuendos on graphic tees.
Let’s be fair. I’m sure some women like golf. But definitely not after seeing you in this t-shirt.
In this shirt, you’d be a real hole-in-one. If the hole you’re aiming for is the middle part of the couch between the cushions that you can slowly slink into and never see any other human being ever again.
Also. This shirt is for people who are really into golf.
3.) Math Joke About Idiots Shirt
Nothing makes me laugh harder than making fun of stupid people. Next.
4.) Beard Measuring Shirt Because Why The Fuck Not
Every guy and their mother knows this.
Beard length is directly correlated to masculinity.
But what you didn’t know is that beard length can change who you are fundamentally as a person.
At least that’s what this shirt is saying - I don’t know.
Like a Jack-Of-All Trades, growing a beard can endow you with very different skillsets depending on the girth and size of your manly face-hair tail.
Like a chubby 20-something switching his class from Druid to Paladin to buff for the big raid — if you wanna just be a big grizzly bear then just will your testosterone into your face and get it done.
Want to change you religion and speak only Bible Dutch for the rest of your life? Grow it to Amish length.
Ah. The simplicity of being a man.
These Were 4 Funny Shirts
Well. I mean here they are. That was it.
4 funny shirts to cure you from your lifetime booboos and frownies.
And you know what?
I think it is true. Laughter is the best medicine. I feel way better now that I’ve relentlessly made fun of you for 3 minutes.
Do I still have deep-seated financial and emotional issues? Oh yeah.
But I also have a lot more gift ideas for that nephew I don’t love that much.
I’m glad we all got what we wanted.
